Category Archives: Economics

Tax Relief For Belarus Glue Hunters

One of the main forms of tax relief in Belarus is afforded to those glue hunters who raise Gluehounds, better known as Gloghounds. These dogs can take years to train. Their training can be time-consuming and costly.

The Belarus department of Glue Production allows those who raise Gluehounds to write off most expenses incurred in training these dogs. For example boarding, food and all training materials are tax-deductible. So is transportation to and from the glue mines where the dogs need to learn how to detect glue sometimes many feet underground.

A little background may be in order:

Over the last hundred years Belarusians have bred a dog that is able to detect rich pockets of glue which can lie as deeply as ten feet from the surface. The Gloghund, or Gluehound through training is able to find rich deposits of petroleum based glue in minutes.

Professor Herzog Volpa from the Belarusian State University explained that ancient compressed plants, trees and animals are kept moist by a network of underground streams that criss-cross Belarus. After tens of thousands of years underground the foliage turns into a powerful semi-liquid glue with properties similar to Crazy Glue.

satan__s_urine_hot_sauce_illustration_by_cvdart1990-d5c8om9“The dogs are trained from a few months old to recognize the smell of the glue which has an odor that is like a cross between sulfur, gasoline and ammonia. Because of the pungent and sulfurous smell locals call it ‘Maca Satany’ or Satan’s Urine,” said Volpa.

The dogs are given a treat every time they find a vein of this glue. These treats are also tax deductible

Once the dogs point to a likely location a ‘rigger’ drills an exploratory hole and pulls up a sticky sample. If it is viable a rig will be sunk and the glue pumped slowly out. The glue, which comes up as a black stick mass will be refined like gasoline until it is a dark honey color. This glue is a minor, but important Belarus export. Fast-acting and powerful it is ideal for gluing sections of wood together to make glue-lams, and enjoys a fabled reputation in the west for being a natural alternative to chemical-based super glues.